opens window curtains, takes 50 selfies in natural light, closes window curtains
how am i supposed to forget you when every time i go outside i see things that remind me of you
- garbage cans
- dog shit
- asshole people
- those babies that you want to punch in the face because they wont stop crying no matter what
people who dont wet their toothbrush before using it are strange and should not be trusted
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.